where is God when it hurts?

i celebrated my birthday yesterday...had quality time and am thankful for that. my dear Ashish made sure that i got my favourite pineapple cake from sweet chariot..... it was yum!!

but right now my heart aches... i am consumed with hurt, doubts and confusion.... and i can never define ... what else do we feel when people you love lied and cheated... you feel taken advantage... you feel used... i know i shouldn't be feeling this way when i know God cares... yet all i want to do is lock myself up in a room and cry... and cry and cry and cry... like that would take away the pain within... i know God is in control and He is teaching me something through this...but where is God when it hurts?... He seems so distant... so far away... feel like i'm left alone in the dark... to figure a way out...

what if life was controlled by switches?... like u can turn off the hurt switch... and turn on switches of joy,love, peace!! but such a thing never existed... do they?? i'd say this phase is one the most difficult part of my life... i am trusting on God... waiting for answer...for His clear guidance... most importantly His peace and strength to go through this period. and at this moment... i am trying to praise Him for who He is... and this song comes to mind,

When i saw the cleansing fountain,

Open wide for all my sins

I obeyed the spirit wooing

When He said "Wilt thou be clean?"

I will praise Him,I will Praise

Praise the lamb for sinners slain

Give Him glory all people

For His blood can wash away each stain

Blessed be the name of Jesus

I'm so glad He took me in

He's forgiven my transgression

He has cleansed my heart from sin

Glory glory to the Father

Glory glory to the Son

Glory to the Holy Spirit

Glory to the triune God

Happy Thanksgiving!

To all my sweet friends from the U.S,

Happy Thanksgiving!

Count your many blessings name them one by one

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done!

With Love,

Ruthy

this brings smile on my face!

I couldn't help but pull out my camera to take a picture of this beautiful beautiful geranium blooming in the garden. I'd rather have my room filled with flowers than any golds or diamonds. How can i help shiver with delight at such a sight as this? This seem intended for a solace to my restless soul. Hush my soul... look around... God is speaking to you through His creation!

If you've never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in its full bloom, then perhaps your soul has never been in bloom. ~ Audra Foveo

What delight must we bring to God's heart... if we all bloom radiantly... wherever He places us... in His garden of life. Come rain... come shine... like this flower blooms at its appointed time... must we bloom and fulfill God's plan and purposes in life... awakened to comfort those grieving.

May God grant us the strength we need to bloom and shine for His glory... May His countenance fall on us... may we radiate His joy... may our life be a fragrance among the lost.

in everything give thanks...

at church today, my pastor started the sermon with a story. there was a widow... very poor and survived on her own... in a tiny little hut. She would not miss Sunday worship services for anything... there was nothing in her life that others would want... but her eyes were ever sparkling with joy and excitement... for every thing she would lift her hands up and shout 'praise the Lord'...

once a pastor from another church was visiting... leaders and the pastor of the church didn't want to be embarrassed... so they called this lady... told her not to shout during sermon... and promised her a woolen blanket in return... she agreed.

...it so happened that when the visiting pastor was preaching... this dear lady was so touched... could not withhold the joy she felt within... the gratitude that was bubbling within... so she stood up... lifted her hands towards the heaven... and shouted at the top of her voice... 'i don't care whether i get the blanket or not i will praise the Lord'...

very often  we are consumed by the circumstances of life... that clouds our spiritual eyes from the view of the greater good that God has instored for us... from the bigger picture. the degree of our thankfulness and gratitude is so influenced by the world around us... the broken relationship... the wants and lacks of our life... they make it so hard to give thanks and praise God... but did we know that God wants us to give thanks in all things... in good times or in bad times... its in concentrating, keeping our focus on the awesomeness of God, praising Him for who He is, that takes us beyond life's wind of adversities. what He has for us is far surpassing what we think we need, what we think  is good for us.

i love the fact that our God is ridiculously generous... the Bible says so!!  He doesn't look at us and say 'you deserve only this much'... He says 'its all here for you... endless treasure'... He says... 'ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and it shall be opened unto you'... 'delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart'... 'ask of me and i will give you the ends of the earth for your inheritance'... see He is super generous!! He has abundance of JOY,LOVE,PEACE... spiritual or physical needs... name it... He has them all... the point is, most of us need to 'reset' our heads and our hearts as to the generosity of God. and remember what He says He has for us... and trust Him and praise Him...

this lady in the story sure did set her focus not in her situations but where she was headed with God... there is no lack... no toil... no hurt... no fear... no confusion... no poverty... no broken hearts there...  there is abundance of all that she needed as promised in the Bible. so when we don't find enough reason to thank God for... we need to turn our eyes away from the world... turn our eyes upon Jesus... we need to retreat to the 'heart of God'... spend time worshiping Him... thanking Him for who He is... just retreat into His unconditional love for us. and lift our hands up high and say 'praise the Lord'....

 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

have a great great week ahead sweet friends... God has great things for us this week!

over the weekend

the week has gone by so fast... its hard to believe its already the 15th of November... only  a few weeks away from Christmas...!! this weekend is no different than the others... just watched more movies than i usually do...

 i love to start my day with a hot cup of  black tea... especially on a wet,cold and cloudy day... and when one is prone to catching cold, black tea with ginger is therapeutic...:-)

so i took my brother Chamgai along for shopping... @ my favourite hang out. it was very pleasant so we decided to walk back home after we've done our shopping.... as you can see the clouds have dispersed the crowd much earlier than the usual days... from the road...

hmm, this makes me sad... i wonder why its so hard for people to understand... poor cows have to feed on such spoils, unlike the cows back at home town, in the countryside... where they have plenty of greens to satisfy them. i tell you there's a lot of differences in the taste of the meat as well. meat from the country cows is much richer and tastier... besides,scenes like this can easily turn one into a pure vegetarian... and i might as well stop eating beef myself... at least till i get back home... haha...

well, its sad to say but this is how our lane looks like at the moment... left end of the lane is where i live... wonder how the bikers mustered their strength to get in there... lol... i'm seriously hoping they complete the construction soon... oh, save our shoes...!!

oh yeah, we picked up a bottle of Pepsi on the way back. i strongly disagree with whats written on the bottle "Rs 20 mein plenty" meaning you get plenty for just 20 bucks...:-)

 and i got dried tiny fishes as well,  to try my hands on a kind of dish mom prepares... its best known as 'kangsoi' in manipuri... its in fact one of the most famous dishes in Manipur... simple to make,very healthy and nutritious. it only involves boiling the vegetables thoroughly like we prepare soup... tip the dry fish into it, in addition to two/ three small green chillies,anions, garlic and a little bit of ginger... and add a pinch of salt to it. trust me this is very simple... the process takes just 10-15 minutes and voila... your meals is served....

this is what the evening sky has to present! oh how i hate gravity... i wish i could spread my wings and fly over the blue horizon.... beyond the grey clouds and soar high... and meet my Lord... i seriously wish i could do that... but such a thing isn't possible.. is it?? not until He declares 'its time'.

and... i almost forgot... i lost my flash drive  two weeks back and have been handicapped... so a sweet sweet friend of mine bought this one and presented me this evening.... isn't he thoughtful...? thank you so very much  Ashish... you're the best and i love you!!

i hope your weekend was great too!! may all have a very blessed week ahead... be blessed and happy...

God loves you all sweet friends...!!

too blessed to cry

this morning i was getting into the car to go to work... i saw a woman... passing by...she was walking alone, and crying...

i got into the car... scrolled up the window shield to shut out the dust and the noises... i watched her go...

and i wondered...

why was she crying... what was it that made her cry... where was she headed... i saw the heaviness... the hurt and the helplessness in her...

did she know that there is a God who knows her pain... who is calling her "Come to me,(my daughter) you are weary and burdened, I will give you rest.- Matthew 11:28. did she know that she can lay all her burdens at HIS feet... and stop crying... did she know that in HIM there's solution to all her problems, calming of all her fears... provision of all her needs- physical,mental,spiritual... and start singing with assurance... that come what may... God is always near... He will never leave her nor forsake her...?? Did she know??

made me to think... how my days have been blessed... since the day i met HIM... since the day i made a covenant with HIM... difficulties, challenges i faced... but none could overcome me... for i am more than CONQUERER through HIM who is my strength, my strong tower, my very present help in times of need... i've been too blessed to cry,too blessed to surrender to life's circumstances.

oh Jesus, thank you for YOU in my life... may this crying woman find in YOU the solace she needs....

Ruthy...:-)

a prayer

Jesus, Comforter of all the sorrowing,

help me to bring

Thy comfort into every heart and life

to which Thou are longing to express

that comfort through me.

Use me, Lord.

The years may be many or few.

Place me where I can best

serve Thee,

and influence most for Thee

fulness of joy...

Just wanted to quickly share what what i learned during my quite time this morning....

In thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures forever more, Psalms 16:11

I know for sure that God is always near... He is always beside you and me. But do we always experience this fulness of joy?

We can't seek to realize this fulness of joy as a result of our effort. This joy isn't like the joy we find in the presence of human's friend, not like the joy that comes as a result of  an effort to have that human friend with you.

It comes as a result of calling on 'Jesus'.

Well, the calling of His name doesn't really summon Him. Because He is always beside you and me.But this calling removes the scales from our eyes and we begin to see Him clearly and so near.

It is then, we begin to feel the pressure of His loving arms around us... this calling brings an answering pressure... and a thrill of joy... a real and a joyful sense of nearness.

May He cause you today,to experience this JOY and PLEASURE of His Presence!